Why is it So Hard to Live Authentically?

It’s One Thing to Know Who You Are... It’s Another Thing to Live Like Her

You did the work. You journaled, prayed, processed, and uncovered the truth of who you are—the woman God created you to be.

And yet… you're still not showing up as her.

Why is that?

If you've ever felt like you're trapped in a weird in-between place—where you've finally discovered who you are, but you still can't quite live like her—you are not alone. In fact, you're in very good company. So many of the midlife women I coach and talk to are walking this same tightrope: craving authenticity, but feeling held back by old habits, people-pleasing, and a lingering fear of judgment.

Today, let’s unpack why that is—and what you can do to start living in alignment with your true identity.

Why We Struggle to Live Authentically (Even When We Know Who We Are)

Authenticity isn’t just a buzzword or an Instagram caption—it’s a deep spiritual alignment. Living authentically means letting your actions match your values. It means showing up in a way that reflects who you truly are inside.

But here’s the thing: most of us have spent decades being trained to fit in. We learned to keep the peace, avoid conflict, stay small, stay likable. We adopted roles and masks to navigate life. And after so many years, it can feel vulnerable—even risky—to let those masks fall off.

Even when we finally get clear on our identity—on who God says we are—we can still feel stuck. Because knowing it in your mind and living it with your choices are two different things.

The Hidden Fear Behind the Hesitation

Let’s be honest: it’s scary to be seen.

Once you discover your true identity, there’s a new kind of pressure. Suddenly, the excuses don’t work anymore. You know too much to keep playing small. But you also feel like, "What if I mess it up? What if I get it wrong?"

And so the hesitation sets in.

Here’s what I want you to know: you are allowed to take small, wobbly steps toward your real self. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to keep moving forward, bit by bit, decision by decision.

Start with Identity Words

If you’ve never picked your identity words, let me explain. These are 5–7 values or traits that deeply resonate with you—that reflect the essence of who you are and how you want to show up in the world.

They’re not about achievement or appearance. They’re about alignment.

Think: words like joy, resilience, authenticity, beauty, strength, kindness, vitality, faithfulness, creativity.

One of the most powerful things I ever did was sit down and ask myself, "If I could give the world one gift, what would it be?" Then another. And another.

Before long, I had a list of the things that mattered most to me—the values that felt like my fingerprint. These became my identity words. And now, they serve as a compass. They guide the way I show up in business, relationships, family, and even skincare.

If you haven’t chosen your words yet, join our Making Life Beautiful Again Facebook group to download this week's workbook. Inside, you’ll find an exercise that walks you through the process of choosing and ordering your identity words.

What It Looks Like to Practice Being Her

Let’s say one of your identity words is authenticity. What would it look like to live that out in a tiny way today?

Maybe it means saying what you really think in a conversation instead of going along with the crowd. Maybe it means choosing an outfit that you love, regardless of whether it fits a certain style trend. Maybe it means turning down a social event because you need rest.

It’s not about perfection. It’s about practicing.

Each time you act in alignment with your identity words, you reinforce the truth of who you are. You send your brain a signal: This is safe. This is me. I can live this way.

And the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Why It Matters

Because here's the thing: when you live in alignment with your true identity, you stop striving to become someone else. You stop hustling for your worth. You start building a life that fits you.

And friend, the world needs that. Your kids, your spouse, your community—they need the real you. Not a watered-down version. Not a copy of someone else.

You were made with intention. And your life—even this season of life—is not an accident. Living authentically is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and to the world around you.

One Small Step Today

I want to challenge you to choose one identity word and look for one small way to live it out today.

Then take a moment to reflect:

• How did it feel?

• Did anything shift in how you carried yourself?

• What would it look like to do it again tomorrow?

And if you need help unpacking this, book a 15-minute Identity Call with me. It’s free, and it's designed to give you clarity, encouragement, and practical next steps to start living from your truth.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Walking in authenticity can feel scary. But you were never meant to figure it out by yourself.

That’s why I created the Making Life Beautiful Again Facebook group. It’s a space for midlife women to rediscover confidence, connect with purpose, and live boldly. Every Wednesday, we gather for a livestream that brings these ideas to life—and every week, there’s a workbook waiting to help you dig deeper.

You don’t have to shrink, hide, or hustle anymore. You get to live out your identity.

And we’re here to walk with you as you do.

Big Hugs,

Want to Join Us Live?

You're invited to hang out with us every Wednesday for our weekly livestream!

Just join the Facebook group to watch live, grab the free workbook that goes with each session, and be part of a community of women making life beautiful again—together.

Missed it live?

You can always catch the video replay on YouTube or listen in on your favorite podcast platform (just click below).

If you ever want to reach out for coaching or have questions, I'd love to hear from you: [email protected]